iModerate

I have a confession…

A week ago I disconnected my home from the internet. It was great. I felt liberated and as though I had achieved something great for myself.

Shortly after I had disconnected, a neighbor suggested to me that we wire his home, my own, and another neighbor’s together on a large network. He wanted to share an internet connection with the neighbor on the other side of me, and their WiFi signals were too weak.

I, being a total nerd, could not resist the idea of creating this Frankenstein multi-home network. The unintended consequence, which I didn’t think of until after I’d agreed and set things up, was that the internet passes right through my home, over my own in-home network… I have internet again.

Yes, to reply in advance to any other tech nerds reading this, I realize I could have filtered out the internet from reaching my own devices through admin-ing my own swtich/router. I just lacked the strength- I am an addict.

I haven’t been on an internet binge since it was back in my home. I have sat, largely frozen, unable to move to do any blogging, on or off the internet. I haven’t posted to my blog, and I haven’t written any posts to put up later. I haven’t researched anything, downloaded anything, gone on video marathons… Hmmm…

I often sat frozen at my laptop, like a deer caught in headlights. While this could be a bad thing, it proves something- I didn’t have to relapse into old ADD-like behavior… I can moderate my usage.

Despite having internet again, while so early in my recovery, I didn’t go off the deep end. I have the internet now, and for the foreseeable future. I will restrict my use to reading and writing blogs. I will see how it goes. If it doesn’t work out, I will have to gather all my strength and filter the internet from reaching any of my devices.

iFrenzy

I have disconnected my home from the internet. It seemed to me that I was on it far too much. In my home, where only I live, I have two laptops, a tablet, an iPod touch, and a smart phone. That’s FIVE portals to the world wide distraction… er… I mean, world wide web… and all portable, with sizes and functions to suit any activity.

Quiet. When I was a child, and even when I was a teen, my diversion was books. I would find a quiet spot where I could pour over my books that provoked my own deep thoughts. As the world became more and more connected, and the internet filled up with more and more ideas, the web became my diversion. I stopped trying to have my own deep thoughts, and started reading other people’s deep thoughts more and more.

It was easier. It was also faster.

When I was studying a bit on Taoism, before the internet, I couldn’t easily just put my book down and pick up another one when I got the slightest bit bored with it. Getting new information meant going to the library or the book store, searching for the right information, and possibly even placing an order for a book they didn’t have on hand.

Enter the internet.

Now, when I was the slightest bit bored with some information I was reading, I could just click away to find something else. Even if I wasn’t bored, I could go off on a reading tangent anytime- Something mentioned in this piece of writing that intrigued me? Never mind finishing what I’m reading, I’ll just click on that link to see what this next topic is all about!

I have developed this internet-induced, attention deficit disorder… and an addiction to its cause.

Now that I have disconnected, I feel liberated. I am free of the strings pulling my mind this way and that, never letting me enjoy quiet with any one idea for long. It has only been a short time since I disconnected, but already I can sit quietly for a few moments, and ideas start rising to the surface with increasing frequency.

I can think again.

In my iFrenzy of information gorging, I never really processed anything. I could feast on facts, but I didn’t take real time to understand what they all meant. It’s as though being connected left me disconnected from the value of the information I was absorbing.

Now, I am forced to go out to use the internet. I have to go to a cafe, or the library. I can save web pages and bring them home, but now I am forced to sit with the information on them for a while before going on to the next piece of information… Quality time with words.

It means I’ll be posting less, but perhaps it means I’ll be putting more time into my posts when I do make them (this last week I was ill, so I haven’t anything to put up). Now, to save some of your posts to take home with me… I like how that sounds- I am taking you guys home with me, to spend some time with your words. Quality time with your thoughts. 🙂